The Wizard Of Wishes


The Wizard of Wishes

Agnes Humperdink (the mother).

Megan Humperdink

Victoria Humperdink (Serena Star)

Horace Humperdink (Astro Boy)

Gloria Hill (Princess Glory)

Moonlight (The Unicorn)



Hershy's Kiss #1

Hershy's Kiss #2

Scene One: Home of the Humperdinks. Divided into three areas--- the living-room, the girls bed room and Horace's room. Horace is in his room, Megan, Victoria and Gloria in the girls room, and agnes is downstairs. Horace begins to moan horribly.

Gloria: Is that your brother?

Megan: Yep. That's Horace.

Gloria: It sounds like he's dying.

Megan: He always sounds like that at home-work time.

Moaning gets louder.

Victoria: Maybe we'd better go see. It sounds serious this time.

Megan: It always sounds serious. Remember what he claimed last week?

Victoria: Yeah. Last week he said he couldn't do his homework because he had whip lash and his brain wasn't working right. Said it came from jumping out of a swing at school.

Megan: He was partly right, anyhow. His brain wasn't working right. Never has.

Victoria: You're too hard on him, Agnes. Maybe there really is something wrong with him this time.

Megan: Sure. Remember what it was the week before last?

Victoria: Yeah. He said it was Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Gloria: What is that?

Victoria. Something secretaries get from typing too much. He claimed he got it from all the writing they made him do at school.

Megan: If he gave half as thought to doing his homework as he does on figuring ways to get out of it, he'd be the smartest kid at school.

Even more moaning comes from Horace's room.

Victoria: That really sounds bad. I think we'd better go check on him.

Megan: Speak for yourself. I've got homework to do.

Gloria: I'll go with you Victoria.

Gloria and Victoria go to Horace's room.

Gloria: Hey. What's the matter.

Horace: Oh, hi, Gloria. Its my brain. I think there's something wrong with it.

Victoria: So what's new?

Horace: This is serious, Victoria. I have a terrible pain right in the middle of my brain. Its awful. Call Mom.

Victoria: (Calls down the stairs.) Hey, Mom. Something's wrong with Horace.

Agnes: (Coming up the stairs). Now what? (As she arrives in the room the moaning increases in pitch and intensity.) What is it Horace?

Horace: (Holding his head dramatically.) I may not survive.

Agnes: Just tell me what the problem is, Horace.

Horace: I've got a brain cramp.

Agnes: A what?

Horace: A brain cramp. Its from doing too much homework.

Agnes: (Aside.) Why is this hard for me to believe?

Megan: (Coming in from the next room.) A brain cramp. Wow. That's a new one.

Horace: Keep out of this, Megan. What do you know about brain cramps?

Megan: I know that if they're caused by overworking the brain, you'll never get one.

Horace: (Resumes groaning.) Oh, Mom. Its wicked painful.

Agnes: What do you think might help?

Horace: I need to relax my brain. Watching some t.v. would probably fix it.

Megan: Its a good thing its not his mouth that's hurt, Mom.

Agnes: Why is that?

Megan: Well, then it would be an organ he actually used.

Agnes: Try not to be mean dear.

Megan: You don't know what its like trying to do homework in this house, Mom.

Agnes: I know that Horace can be trying at times, Megan.

Megan: It's not just Horace and his brain cramps. Victoria and Gloria sit around chit-chatting about all their pretend worlds. Its impossible to concentrate.

Victoria: You could go downstairs and study at the dinning room table.

Megan: Why me? Its my room as much as it's your's.

Gloria: Why don't we do that, Victoria. I don't want to fight with your sister.

Victoria: She always gets her way, Gloria. You're lucky you don't have a big sister.

Agnes: Well, let me see what you've got done so far, Horace. (She picks up his book and pulls a piece of paper out from it.) Hmm. What's this?

Horace: (Looking a little sheepish.) Astro Boy.

Agnes: Astro Boy?

Horace: Yeah. It's a picture of Astro Boy.

Agnes: This is as much as you have managed to get done?

Horace: Its a pretty nice picture.

Agnes: But I mean, that's all?

Horace: (Shrugs.) That's about it.

Agnes: So drawing this picture gave you a brain cramp.

Horace: No. It was the homework.

Agnes: But you didn't do any homework.

Horace: Just thinking about it, Mom. It's very stressful.

Agnes: Every night at homework time we have this struggle. That's what's stressful.

Megan: You let them get away with too much. Mom. that's why its always a problem. Just take away privileges if they don't do their homework.

Agnes: I'm afraid if I took away Horace's privileges every time he didn't do his homework, he wouldn't have any privileges for the next hundred and fifty years. I just want to understand.

Victoria: What's to understand?

Agnes: Why its so hard to just do an hour or so of homework every night.

Horace: That easy, Mom. Its because it sooo boring.

Victoria: We want something more exciting.

Horace: Something interesting.

Agnes: But in real life things aren't always exciting and interesting.

Horace: Real life is a bore.

Agnes: You don't really believe that.

Horace: I do.

Agnes: Why?

Horace: Cause the things we want never come true.

Agnes: Never?

Gloria: Maybe not "never" Mrs. Humperdink. But it's true that mostly the things we dream about don't come true.

Agnes: Okay. So what are the dreams that can't come true in real life. Megan said you kids were pretending just now. Gloria, what were you pretending.

Gloria: I was pretending that I was with my magic pet, Pegasus, the flying horse. And we were having adventures.

Agnes: What were you pretending, Horace?

Horace: (Shows his picture.) Astro Boy.

Agnes: You were Astro Boy?

Horace: Yeah.

Agnes: And why do you like to be Astro Boy?

Horace: He's more powerful than anybody. And he's always having adventures.

Agnes: And you, Victoria? What do you like to pretend?

Victoria: That I'm Serena Star, the greatest actress in the world.

Agnes: And you, Megan?

Megan: I don't do any pretend. I've outgrown that.

Agnes: I see.

Gloria: What about you Mrs. Humperdink?

Agnes: Me?

Gloria: What do you pretend?

Agnes: I guess I'm like Megan. I don't pretend much anymore.

Victoria: Did you ever have a dream, Mom?

Agnes: I guess everybody has.

Victoria: What was it?

Agnes: I dreamed that I would become an artist.

Victoria: So what happened?

Agnes: Lots of things, I guess. Little by little it just became easier to put the dream away.

Megan: I think Mom is right. Dreams just get in the way.

Victoria: I don't think that's what Mom meant.

Gloria: What did you mean Mrs. Humperdink?

Agnes: I'm not sure what I meant. It does seem very hard for dreams and wishes to become real.

Victoria: What we need is a magic way for all our wishes to come true.

Gloria: Like a magician who could just wave a magic wand and, presto, you have what you want.

Horace: We need a Wizard of Wishes.

The Wizard of Wishes enters at this point. As he does all the characters on stage except for Megan assume dreamy poses in which they stare off into space and cease responding to anything on stage.

WW: Did someone call for me?

Megan: Who are you.

WW: The Wizard of Wishes, at your service.

Megan: Are you for real?

WW: (Thinks about this.) That's a very difficult question.

Megan: It seems straightforward enough to me.

WW: Am I for real? Hmmm. What is real?

Megan: Real is what is. I mean something is either real or its not. There is nothing complicated about that.

WW: Illusion is my stock and trade. But my illusions are very real. So is a real illusion, real, or an illusion?

Megan: You are playing with words.

WW: I am. And are those words I am playing with real, or are only the things they point at real?

Megan: (Thinks for a moment.) I know the answer to that. Words are real as words, and things as things.

WW: Good. But what kind of real are words?

Megan: I don't understand your question.

WW: Take the words, scrambled eggs, for a case in point. How are those words different from scrambled eggs themselves?

Megan: That's easy. You can't eat words.

WW: On the contrary my dear, I have had to eat my words on quite a number of occasions.

Megan: You are playing with words again.

WW: Yes I am.

Megan: I wish you would stop it.

WW: But there is nothing else to do. Everything we think is playing with words.

Megan: I don't believe that.

WW: You are very confused, my dear. Perhaps a simple illustration will make my point more clear. Take this wall I'm leaning on. (He leans on an imaginary wall.) Its solid enough or I couldn't lean on it. (Knocks on it to illustrate its solidness, and the knocking noise is quite audible.) And the very next minute it might be gone. (Falls over as though the wall has disappeared.)

Megan: That wasn't a real wall. Real things are things you can touch and see and weigh. They don't just come and go.

WW: They don't?

Megan: I've got you, don't I.

WW: You've got me.

Megan: Hah!

WW: Just one question.

Megan What's that?

WW: Do you have a responsibility to do homework?

Megan: Of course.

WW: Really?

Megan: Really.

WW: How much does this responsibility weigh?

Megan: It doesn't weigh anything.

WW: Show it to me so I can touch it.

Megan: I can't.

WW: Then its not real.

Megan: Why is that?

WW: You said real things could been seen, touched and weighed.

Megan: You are the most irritating person to talk with I even met.

WW: Children of the world rejoice. Responsibility to do your homework is not real. Megan has said so.

Megan: Why have you come here?

WW: To give everybody their dreams.

Megan: For real.

WW: What is real, my dear? (Leans again on his imaginary wall.) But no, I'll tell you this time. Wishes are real. Dreams are real. You see your friends here? They are all caught up in their dreams. That's why they aren't part of this conversation. Only you refuse to dream. Therefore I will make you part of their dreams.

Megan: Just leave me out of this.

WW: (Begins to leave.) Not a chance.

Megan: Dreams are not real.

WW: They aren't what? (Exit. Lights fade.)

Scene Two.

As the lights come back on all the people who were in the household are sitting in the same dreamy poses they were at the end of the last scene, except for Megan who is not on stage. Victoria rises slowly, at first almost as though she were sleepwalking.

Victoria: I, Serena Star, world famous actress have just returned from the Academy Awards ceremony where I received more Oscars than any other actress in the history of film making. I am tired. Weary from the bright lights, from the applause, from the slavish adulation of my fans, from all the screams for encore! Encore! Sometimes I worry that its just my exquisite beauty that brings me all this attention. Is it really my talent that is most admired. (Sighs heavily.) I suppose it's both. My beauty...and my talent. (Wanders out into the audience.) No more autographs, please. Think of me as being just another ordinary and homely person like yourselves. Try to see past my dazzling beauty. Try to forget the fact that I am the most famous actress in the world. Ignore my genius. I am just another person.

Megan: (Enters from off stage, looking around as though trying to get her bearings.) Where am I? Who are these people? (Indicating the audience. As she wanders on in she comes across Victoria playing up to her audience.)

Victoria: (Holding out her hand to Megan.) You may kiss my hand.

Megan: (Watches in disbelief as her sister walks on by, apparently not even recognizing her.) Why on earth would I want to do a thing like that?

Victoria: What is this? Do I hear once again the cry of encore! Ah, my dears. You burden me with your adulation. Yet surely you deserve at least some little performance by me. All right, then. Just a simple passage from Shakespeare. (Goes to the front of the room.)

Megan: Poor Shakespeare.

Victoria: (After spending a moment getting herself into character. ) To be or not to be, that is the question.

Megan: Who's Toby.

Victoria: To be!

Megan: Tooby?

Victoria: (Aside.) How crass!

Megan: Never mind. Go on.

Victoria: To be or not to be. that is the question...

Megan: You already said that.

Victoria: (Glares at her, and tries to continue.) Whether tis better to fling the fortunes... umm whether its outrageous...or to oppose… (Becomes visibly flustered as she tries to remember the lines.) In other words whether we should fight...or sleep in a sea of troubles....(Breaks down. ) Oh. I've forgotten my lines.

Megan: More likely never learned them in the first place.

Victoria: I am disgraced. I can never hold my head up in public again. I am trapped in my worst dream.

Megan: Looks like you never did your homework.

Victoria: (To Megan). Leave me alone. (To nobody in particular.) Let me out of here.

Megan: (Calls loudly.) Wizard! Wizard of Wishes!

WW: Arrives: What do you want?

Megan: We want out of here.

Victoria: Never to return. I can't bear the humiliation.

WW: Its not that simple. You asked to come here. This is your fantasy, after all.

Megan: Its not my fantasy!

WW: When you get one of your own, maybe it will go better for you.

Victoria: I want to return to the real world.

WW: For now you can, but every night at homework time you will have to return. Once you choose a fantasy its not all that easy to get out. You have a responsibility to you dreams.

Victoria: I would rather study spelling. (Lights fade.)

Scene Three.

Lights come back on to find everybody in the dreamy state they were at the beginning of scene II. There are only two differences. First, Horace is in a super hero outfit. Second, there is the outline of a bridge railing visible.

Horace: The night falls. Astro Boy paces the floor. He is in a melancholy mood. Its lonely to have powers so far beyond those of ordinary folks. Of course as Horace Humperdink I can appear as just an ordinary person. There is some comfort in that. Ah but it's such a lie.

We super-heros are all tragic figures. On the one hand we have the terrible burden of super powers. On the other hand we all have at least one awful weakness. For Achilles, his heel. For Sampson, his hair. For Superman, kryptonite. For me, its… (Hides his face in shame.) Hershy's Kisses.

Megan: (Enters from the side.) Now where am I? How am I ever going to get my homework done at this rate.

Horace: I feel the need to save somebody.

Megan: Who is that? (Sees Astro Boy.) It's Horace! (Not noticing her, Horace swings around and strikes a dramatic pose.) Oh my gosh. And I thought it was bad to be caught in Victoria's fantasy. (Begins to back off.)

Horace: (Sees Megan.) Ah! maybe there is someone who needs saving.

Megan: (Hides her face.) Help!

Horace: What is it?

Megan: (Moves her hands from her face.) I need to get out of this fantasy.

Horace: Megan! What are you doing here?

Megan: Someone put me here against my will. I'm trying to find my way out.

Horace: There's no way out that I know of.

Megan: Then I'll kill myself. That should get me out.

Horace: How?

Megan: There's a bridge. I'll jump. (Goes to the bridge and jumps off. She disappears, but her voice can still be heard.) Help!

Horace: What is it now?

Megan: I'm caught.

Horace: How?

Megan: The strap to my overalls got snagged on a nail. I'm hanging over a thousand food drop.

Horace: I thought you wanted to die.

Megan: I changed my mind. I didn't know what a thousand foot drop looked like.

Horace: Its Astro Boy to the rescue!

(Just at this critical moment two Hershy's Kisses enter from the side.)

Hershy's Kiss #1: Hello big boy.

Horace: Wow. Look at that.

Hershy's Kiss #2: Why don't you come with us?

Hershy's Kiss #1: We'll show you a good time.

Horace: This is too much to pass up.

Megan: Hurry up. What's keeping you.

Horace: I can't help you right now.

Megan: Can't help! What kind of Super Hero are you?

Horace: One with a tragic weakness.

Megan: Super Heroes always overcome their tragic weaknesses.

Horace: Its not always that easy. He goes toward the Hershy's Kisses, then wavers, struggling to make his decision.

Megan: Look, I need your help. What is this tragic weakness that's keeping you?

Horace: Its, (Sighs deeply) two Hershy's Kisses.

Megan: You mean you can't tell which is more important to you...a couple of Hershy's Kisses, or your own sister?

Horace: Its like I said, its not that easy.

Megan: That's terrible.

Horace: It's close Megan, it's close. I mean you are my sister.

Megan: Then act like I'm your sister.

Horace Is torn between going to his sister and to the Hershy's Kisses. His physical movements, back and forth, reflect his ambivalence. Finally decides to help his sister.

Horace: (To the Kisses.) Don't go away.

Kiss #1: Opportunity waits for no one.

As Horace turns toward his sister the Kisses leave.

Megan: Come on, Horace. I think I hear my strap ripping.

Horace: Call me Astro Boy.

Megan: (After a pause.) I'll die first.

Horace: (Turns away.) Have it your way.

Megan: Alright. Anything you say. Astro Boy. Help me.

Horace: Astro Boy to the rescue!

Megan: The strap is ripping. Ahhhhhh.

Horace: (Goes and looks over the edge of the bridge.) Drat. (Looks longingly in the direction in which the Kisses departed.) And I lost the Kisses as well. I think I want out of this fantasy. (Lights.)

Scene Four

Begins in much the same way as the two previous scenes with the various people in Horace's bed room staring off into space. Gloria rises. Seems to be in a dream-like state of mind initially.

Gloria: Princess Gloria, ruler of the Mythical land of Zork, rises with the sun and goes forth to survey her domain. Wise beyond her years, she is admired by her subjects for her gentle ways and loving heart. She seeks her most special friend of all, the beautiful and faithful Pegasus.

Pegasus: (Enters from the side, soaring toward Gloria.) Princess Gloria. How good to see you.

Gloria: Pegasus, my dear. I want to pick wild flowers today.

Pegasus: Yes. Let me take you to the Field of Dreams down by Babbling Brook.

Gloria: Exactly what I had in mind, my friend. (Takes her reins, and Pegasus takes her on a flying trip through the audience and back to the front. They talk as they go.)

Pegasus: Hang on tight.

Gloria: Yes, of course. (Pause.) Pegasus, dear. I have a question I've been meaning to ask you.

Pegasus: You can ask anything.

Gloria: The other animals in Zork seem to be cool to me lately. Only you still seem warm and friendly.

Pegasus. Ah, Princess Gloria. Its best that we not talk about that.

Gloria: You said I could ask anything.

Pegasus: But it will hurt you to know the truth.

Gloria: I must know. Tell me.

Pegasus: The other animals are jealous of your beauty, and of my special relationship with you. So they are spreading rumors about you.

Gloria: What rumors?

Pegasus: It's better that you not know. Take my word for it.

Gloria: Tell me.

Pegasus: Well...they say you are vane and self-centered. That you don't really care about them and that you just want Zork for your own benefit. They even claim that you are not really all that pretty.

Gloria: That's amazing.

Pegasus: It is.

Gloria: They don't think I'm pretty?

Pegasus: Oh, I think they know you are pretty. They are just jealous.

Gloria: Who is starting all these rumors?

Pegasus: It will hurt you to know.

Gloria: Tell me.

Pegasus: Its Rabbit and Lion.

Gloria: Ohh! Of all the animals in the forest I trusted them the most... except for you, of course.

Pegasus: Sometimes its hard to know who your real friends are.

Gloria: Indeed. (They land in the field of Dreams.)

Pegasus: I must leave you here by yourself for a while. I'll be back to pick you up in an hour.

Gloria: I'll be fine. (Watches Pegasus fly off.) This makes me so sad. I don't even feel like picking wild flowers. I think I'll just walk back.

As Pegasus flies off Megan enters from the side.

Megan: (Disgusted.) Now where am I?

(Lion and Rabbit enter behind her.)

Lion: Look, its a new person in Zork.

Megan: Zork?!? Now that's really corny. This has got to be one of Gloria's fantasies.

Rabbit: Maybe she will be our friend.

Megan: I can't stand it.

(They run after her and try to get her attention with friendly and affectionate gestures.)

Lion and Rabbit: Hi.

Megan: Leave me alone.

Lion: We want to be your friends.

Megan: I don't need any friends.

Rabbit: Everybody needs friends.

Megan: Especially I don't need any cute little animals for friends. I hate cute little animals.

Lion: We are really very loveable.

Megan: That's even worse.

Rabbit: Give it a chance.

Megan: No chance at all. I hate bunnies. Look at yourself...the way you wiggle your little cute pink nose. I think its disgusting. And you, Lion. You are supposed to be mean and ferocious. Not cute and cuddly. Its not right.

Lion: I used to be mean and ferocious.

Megan: Good. So what happened?

Lion: I discovered my true gentle inner self.

Megan: Too bad. Look, I'm allergic to animals. To all animals, but especially to cute ones. Leave me alone. (Sneezes.) Now look what you've done.

The animals look dejected. They begin to wander off, and then see Pegasus.

Rabbit: Pegasus. Come here. We want to talk with you.

Pegasus: How can I help?

Lion: Its about Princess Gloria.

Rabbit: She seems so unfriendly when we see her.

Lion: Does she like us now?

Pegasus: I'm afraid not. She still says mean things behind your back.

Rabbit: Like what?

Pegasus: She calls you a lily livered little coward.

Rabbit: Oh. Its just the nature of bunnies to be timid.

Lion: And me?

Pegasus: She says you're a crass barbarian who eats raw meat, and she wants nothing to do with you.

Lion: But the only meat I eat is Big-Macs.

Pegasus. (Shrugs.) I put in a good word for you whenever I get the chance. But she just doesn't seem to like you.

Gloria: (Returns.) Hi everybody.

Pegasus: Oh. I was just coming to get you.

Gloria: I didn't feel like picking wild flowers after all, so I decided to walk back.

Rabbit: Princess. Let me ask you something.

Pegasus: Princess Gloria isn't interested in your questions, Rabbit. Leave her alone.

Gloria: Let her speak, Pegasus.

Rabbit: Why don't you like me?

Gloria: Who said such a thing?

Rabbit: Pegasus told us.

Pegasus: I never said any such thing.

Lion: You did so.

Pegasus: Its their word against mine, Princess. Who are you going to believe.

Megan: Well, no. Its not just their word against yours. I overheard you say just what Rabbit said.

Pegasus: You keep out of this.

Rabbit: (Goes up to Megan with Lion and tries to hug her.) Ohh, thank you.

Megan: I would have done the same for a slug and a bloodsucker. Don't touch me.

Gloria: Is this true, Pegasus.

Pegasus: We are best friends, Princess. You must trust me.

Gloria: And what about the things you said they said about me? Could all that be made up too?

Pegasus: I think I hear my mother calling. I've got to go.

Gloria: No. You stay right here and face this. I am so disappointed. The wonderful mythical Pegasus is supposed to be above all the petty faults of ordinary creatures. But you are worse. You have been telling lies in order to turn me and my other friends always from each other.

Pegasus: But I did it out of love, Princess Gloria.

Gloria: Love?

Pegasus: Yes. I couldn't stand sharing you.

Gloria: It wasn't enough that you were my best friend?

Pegasus: I wanted you all to myself.

Gloria: I thought things like this didn't happen in mythical lands. I am disappointed. So disappointed, in fact, that I want to go home. I'd rather spend my time memorizing what all the countries in South America import and export. I'd rather memorize the times tables.

Pegasus hides her face in shame. Lights.

Scene Four

The bed room of Horace Humperdink. All the characters are there except WW and the two animals.

Horace: I think all this fantasy stuff stinks.

Victoria: You can say that again!

Horace: I think all this fantasy stuff...

Victoria: Okay, Horace. Okay. I agree.

Gloria: Me too.

Megan: I think its unfair the way I've been treated.

Horace: I'm revolting!

Megan: Well, you're not exactly a dream boat, but I wouldn't say you are actually revolting.

Horace makes a face at Megan.

Agnes: Try to be nicer Megan.

Megan: I said he wasn't actually revolting.

Gloria: But he's right. We should revolt.

Victoria: We should give the Wizard a piece of our minds.

Gloria: Its not fair of him to keep us locked into our fantasies.

Horace: Where is he? Lets call him.

They all start calling for the Wizard, very loudly.

WW Comes in from side.

WW: I believe I am being paged. At your service, ladies and gentlemen. What can I do for you.

Megan: (Very firmly.) We really are revolting.

WW: (Looks around at them.) Oh, I wouldn't go that far.

Horace: (Sticks his tongue out at Megan.) Ha!

Agnes: You deserve that, Megan.

Victoria: We want out of our fantasies.

WW: Its not that easy. A deal is a deal. You asked for these dreams.

Gloria: But they are not turning out as we wished.

WW: Neither does real life.

Victoria: But at least its more real.

WW: What is real. (Leans on his imaginary wall.)

Megan: Cut that out. You know what we mean.

WW: Maybe you just need a better brand of fantasies. I mean some of your fantasies were a little...what shall I say...

Victoria: Our fantasies are our fantasies. We just want to be able to get into them and out of them when we want.

Gloria: We are serious, Wizard.

Megan: We think you are a shyster.

WW: (Falls as though the wall suddenly gave way.) You are not very supportive.

Victoria: We are going on strike.

WW: (Reflects.) All right, I'll make you a deal. I'll give you a chance to get out of this. If any of you can guess my riddle, I'll leave and never come back. But If you can't, then you will all have to continue to come to your fantasy worlds at the appointed times. And no more complaining.

Megan: I'm good at riddles. Lets go for this. (Everybody agrees.)

WW: O.K. Listen carefully. There was this bear hunter. He starts out from his home camp and walks south for one mile. At that time he sees a bear and shoots at it. But his gun is empty because he forgot to load it. The bear takes off in an eastward direction and the hunter tracks him for another mile. At that point he get a chance at a good shot, but misses. At this point he is exhausted and disgusted with himself, so he gives up, turns north and walks the mile back to his camp.

Megan: Okay. So what's the question.

WW. What color is the bear?

Gloria: What color is the bear?!?!

WW: Right

Gloria: How should we know?

WW: That's the riddle.

Horace: What happened to the bear?

WW: It doesn't make any difference what happened to the bear.

Horace: It does to the bear.

Victoria: Leave it alone, Horace. We need to figure out this riddle.

WW: Well, what color was it?

Gloria: Beats me.

Victoria: I don't have a clue.

Horace: Finally you are admitting it.

Victoria: Okay. If you're so smart, what's the answer

Horace: How should I know?

Gloria: What about you, Megan.

Megan: (She is drawing on a piece of paper, and thinking.) I think I have it.

Victoria: What is it?

Megan: The bear is white.

WW: Oh, no.

Victoria: Then she is right?

WW: I'm afraid so.

(Everybody cheers and congratulates Megan.)

Gloria: How did you know, Megan.

Megan: Well, there's only one place on earth where you can walk south for a mile, and then east for a mile and then north for a mile and end up back where you started.

Horace: Where is that?

Megan: The north pole. You would know that if you had studied your geography.

Horace: Geography is boring.

Megan: And there's only one kind of bear at the north pole, and that's the polar bear. You learn that in life sciences.

Horace: I knew it from television.

Megan: You've got your walking papers, Wizard. So start walking.

WW, crestfallen and dejected, begins walking off.

Agnes: Wait!

Victoria: What is it Mom?

Agnes: I don't think we should ask him to go.

Gloria: Why not?

Agnes: Since the Wizard of Wishes has been around, something wonderful has happened.

Victoria: What's that?

Agnes: I have my dreams back.

Megan: And that's good?

Agnes: Its great. I am taking art lessons. And I feel a happiness in my life that I haven't felt for years.

Victoria: That's super, Mom.

Agnes: And I owe it to the Wizard of Wishes.

WW: (Modestly.) Just doing my job 'Mam.

Gloria: I had my dreams before the Wizard ever came by.

Horace: But he did make them more real.

Gloria: That's right. He really did.

Victoria: So the Wizard isn't all bad.

Agnes: No, he's not. Real life and dreams need each other.

WW: Suppose, then, I let you choose when to dream and when to be in real life? Would that work?”

Victoria: We could have the best of both worlds, then.

WW: You could.

Agnus: Yes. That does sound good.

Victoria: Its settled then.

Agnes: Just a minute. What about you, Megan. Can you agree to this?

Megan: Well I sure don't want to be floating around in other people's fantasies anymore. That's the pits.

Horace: You have to get a dream of your own, Megan.

Megan: For once I think you are right.

Gloria: What would your dream be?

There is a pause. The entire group except Megan and WW go into the state of suspended animation, as they did in earlier scenes when one child's fantasy was on center stage.

Megan: (Gets a trombone from somewhere.) The finest band in the world is to play before all the important people on earth. But, alas. The lead trombonist is ill. And the entire program centeres around the trombone solos. The audience will be furious. What is to be done?

(Megan continues to narrate.) Megan Megalatalenta steps forward. "Perhaps," she says, modestly, "I can help." Although she is only sixteen years old, the director of the band has no choice. He knows she is the only trombonist available.

"We will have to try it," he says. Little does the audience know that it was about to be blessed with the finest trombone solo performance in the history of music.

Megan begins playing a lively march. One by one, the performers come out of their dream states, and make their bows in the character of the fantasy characters that they acted out earlier. As each takes his bow he/she joins the one's who have already bowed, as they march around the room through the audien

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